As I had written before, we thought our documents had been submitted to the adoption authority in the country's capitol and that we were waiting on an official document before we could ask for a court date. Our facilitator had told us it was submitted and that we would likely get that document on the 10th and have court maybe on the 15th. No problem, we know the process is long here so we stick it out.
Our facilitator is on vacation out of the country but assured me that she would be in contact by email and if I needed anything she would email me back. I have sent numerous emails and have not heard from her since before she left. I hope she is ok. Since I could not get any info from her I had to call one of the other team members and on the way to visit the boys I was told our documents have not even been submitted yet. WHAT?!?! Apparently they will be submitted on Monday and the earliest court date we could hope to receive would be in 2 weeks.
To say that we are upset and frustrated is an understatement. Really, we would not have minded it so much if someone would have been honest with us and kept us in the loop. We have no idea why there has been such a delay and when we ask we get no answer and are told they "don't know why the delay".
So I sit here with no end in sight, stretching a budget WAY beyond what we had planned for, cannot get any clear answers or guidance, and the person who we are paying to help us is out of the country and will not return emails.
So, what does this mean? Since we can't get any answers I don't know, but it looks like this will delay us at least another 2 weeks putting my time in country now well over 60 days. And everyday we are spending a small fortune to pay rent and a driver. Plus, everyday I only get to see the boys 45 minutes each because they always cut our time short. When we do the math it is just as much or even less for me to fly home for the 2 weeks until court. So that is what I am doing.
I know there is going to be a backlash about this and I am going to get messages saying I should not say anything about the facilitation team and that I should not leave the boys. Trust me, all I have done is cry over leaving the boys! But before you start to write me a hurtful comment, please, I humbly ask you to put yourself in my shoes. There are people who came here after us and have court tomorrow. We came a week before they did and will not have court for 2 more weeks...if even then. Please hear me when I say that we are still trusting God with all of this, we know none of this is a surprise to Him. We also know that the facilitation team will work to get things done and that the adoption will happen (Lord willing). We are not complaining about any of it because what would complaining do? Nothing. It is what it is.
The only reason I am spelling it all out here is so that everyone will be kept up to date on what is happening. I know the gossip, hate, and rude comments that are going to come my way over this, so originally I was just going to post that I was taking a break from blogging and would be back when we had court. But that would not be fair to those of you who truly support us and love the boys. You have walked this journey with us and I respect you too much not to be honest about what is going on.
My family and I had to weigh all the reasons to stay here and all the reasons to go home. There is no easy answer to that, the best solution would be for the boys to come home with me, but it's just not God's timing yet, so do I stay here and spend 45 minutes a day with each boy or do I go spend all day with my kids at home? And please remember 2 of my kids at home are adopted and one is regressing because I have been gone so long. Not an easy decision to make is it? I cried over being away from my family for now over 60 days and I am crying even now as I write about leaving the boys. There is no easy answer. I know a lot of people are going to write saying I should stay but what we do is not for others it is for God and I know I am not being disobedient to Him by going home.
So to those who truly love us and the boys and support us, thank you for understanding. To those who will write me saying I don't care enough about the boys to stay, please remember that EVERYTHING we are doing and all the sacrifices we are making are for those precious boys!
Father, we trust you. We don't understand why there are delays but we know that everything is in your hands. We pray for a speedy process but always according to your will. We don't lean on our own understanding, we trust the unseen. Please protect the boys physically, emotionally, and spiritually during our absence and keep them, as you have since the moment they were conceived. We praise you even in the trials because we know YOU ARE GOOD...ALL THE TIME.