Life for kids after the orphanage

Remember the Bible Orphan Ministry group we met?  Here is a post about Brother Misha, Director of BOM's story.  Here he is with Tyler:

It will be emotional but please read/watch the whole post.

When his parents divorced, he was still the child. And it affected his further life. Soon he appeared in an orphanage. Absolutely lonely, with the injured heart, parents forgot about him. It seemed that the world was gloomy and gray, cold and cruel. Nobody will listen to your awful pain, nobody will hug, won't tell warm words. Tears, pain of heart,sorrow,grief, misunderstanding, lonely with empty heart.It seemed that all forgot also everyone was occupied with the vital affairs, without paying attention to the guy which so needed a consolation and love. 

   Time went... Time came to leave the orphanage forever.When he left walls of the orphanage and came back to home.He saw that the house was empty. His mother lived with the girlfriend drinking vodka thinking of nothing. Nothing disturbed her. The heart pain of the broken family, complete of loneliness and pains, she tried to find a consolation in vodka. She  circumfused her pain by vodka and to forget about everything forever. Soon she became to nobody the necessary to suffering of alcoholic abuse. The father lived with other family.

   The house, where returned this guy was empty and in an awful condition...There was no light, water and gas. The service came and cut off everything for failure to pay of utilities. Windows were beaten, without glass. In the house there was no food. It is empty, there is nobody. About the house that is the house, only reminded memories and known things.
   Shocked from seen, from pain and fear in heart, tears began to well up on eyes.He sat down on the iron and broken bed, clasped the head by hands and started to cry bitterly. The big fear filled his heart, pain, loneliness. What to do is future? How to live? To whom to follow the help? I am not necessary to nobody, forgotten and lonely ...he thought at this time. Tears slid as the river. Hungry, and full of fear and horror, in tears he fell asleep in the empty house.

   Days were cold and rainy. Therefore windows he fixed different boards and fibreboards. What though somehow to be warmed. It became shortly cold and he woke up from cold in the morning, shaking like an aspen leaf on a tree. Snow covered a room where he slept. When was very cold he muffled up more feasibly in a thin worn blanket to be warmed.When he hammered windows by boards or a cardboard or than it will be come into the hands, in the house it was dark and cold as in a storeroom. Often boards were broken by bums. Also it was necessary to repair windows again and again. To make light in the house, he connected two wires among themselves, what though as that to live. But he hidden from neighbors that lived behind a wall that they wouldn't be issued in the house and didn't go to complain in service.

   In the winter wore gumshoes because there was no other footwear. The rubber footwear froze and it was impossible to endure cold. Feet were simply ice.The frost was about 30`C. He dressed on two pairs sock to be warmed, but it didn't help...

Nobody wanted to take 14 year old guy on the work. It was heavy to arrive somewhere to study.

   It was necessary simply to survive...That though somehow to be consoled and allay the heart pain and fear, he started to drink vodka.On the work don't accept, there is no place to study, money isn't present to buy food and there is no place where to take. It was necessary to steal that to survive...

   To survive he wandered on different streets, the cellars, the thrown places and collected dairy bottles. Handed over them and on this money he bought food. It was not finite enough. Often he was undernourished.

   One day he managed to find a work. As in the USSR nobody took on the work juvenile child and it was illegal. So illegally he got job in cafe. He helped to undress meat in kitchen. But not long it was necessary to wait. Someone from government officials or inspection learned that the juvenile child works at kitchen. The director came and he asked him leave immediately or he can to get to prison that the juvenile guy works for him. Again hunger days, again problems...

  Once street children robed a small shop. The police thought that he also was involved in it. Also took away him in a children's shelter where held him, accusing him of that what he didn't do. Behind a high concrete fence and many iron doors, in a strict daily routine to walk everywhere only a system, hearing humiliations and insults, seeing mockeries and violence over children, he had to spend there about 30 days.It was scary and awful place.

  Once at night he passed by confectionery and noticed that a window was open.The smell of tasty cakes was so wonderful and tempting. He having yearned and having exhausted for hunger, reached to an open window. Having gorged on cakes, on following night he returned again. And here he got in hands of tall and strong man.

   When there was a court and accusing asked him why he stole.He is lost and frightened, with lowered head, he silently responded: "I simply wanted to eat..." The procurator became angry and the enraged voice started to accuse of various sins. The guy burst into tears and asked to mercy. But he was ruthless and screamed: "I will make everything that to put you in prison. Anyway you are necessary to nobody.Such as you should be in prison!" "Such as you", means those who was or who are in orphanages or on street...

  Nobody wanted to listen his explanation that he couldn't find to the work, couldn't find any educational institution. There was nobody him to help. The verdict was made. Three years of prison for the stolen cake.

  This is the real story a former street boy.It is only small part of history... He remembers everything accurately and clearly as though it occurred yesterday. Today he is saved Christian by grace of God, who helps the same street boys and girls. Who doesn't know about that there is a way and hope. The get-out or solution  is always, this is Jesus Christ.The consolation in heart, protection and rest it is possible to find only in Jesus Christ.

Many of you know this former street guy. Who passed all this way of loneliness and horror, knowing what such hunger and cold, fear and horror, pain and disappointment, injustice and indifference, humiliation and much more...This isbrother Misha, Director of Bible Orphan Ministry in Ukraine.He was this street boy.

Here are videos of lives of children who stay on street.It`s heavy to watch it without tears...
                      

                      

Here one more video on YouTube.You can find a lot of videos there of homeless children.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yoJXUkP0zQ

It everything waits for orphans who are graduate from orphanages in some weeks.Fear, tears, helplessness, loneliness, hunger. If will be a lucky probably will find a work or educational institution. But if no, there they waits the street, hunger cold, alcoholic and drug addiction, prison etc.

    Dear beloved friends, with heartbreaking hearts we ask you to help in our project, Gifts to Graduates.Time is running out and we have only 2 weeks...Our desire to help them in their needs and to bless at least is a little.
   With your help we already raised fund $745.Amazing!It`s almost the half what we necessary! We already able to buy kitchen utensils for ALL 80 orphans!Thank you SO much!!!You are awesome!So, we need to raise more to buy blankets for kids.Read here to know more about this project.Every little bit of help is VERY helpfull and appreciating.

   We pray God will bless and provide needs of those who are in need.Please, share about this need.Time is VERY short.We need many your prayers.Thank you SO much for any your help!God bless you!

Day 5: Fun in the sun

Day 5: Orphanage visit, a little bit of R&R


The drive to the orphanage was heartwarming.  Everywhere outside, in the city and also in the rural area, people were cleaning sidewalks, common areas, and open space.  They were sweeping, racking, trimming trees, and painting the bottoms of trees.  It was really neat to see.  Young and old all gathered together spring cleaning the city.  Maybe it's some sort of tradition, I don't know, but it was really nice to see people coming together.


When we got to the orphanage our driver asked if we would like to take Valentin outside...let's see, he has been stuck in a crib and probably never gets to go outside...ummm yeah, get that boy outside!!!  HE LOVED IT!  I really wonder how many days, if any, he has been outside.  The only thing that bothered him much was how bright it was.  The part of his brain that is missing (according to his CT scan) is responsible for the sense of sight and I am thinking it might make his eyes sensitive to light.  He has one pupil that is always more dilated then the other, you may have noticed that in pictures.  Plus the medication I am convinced he is on has a side effect that makes children sensitive to light.  Poor guy.  We packed sunglasses for him but did not expect that he would need them at the orphanage today so we did not bring them.  Lesson learned.


I was actually surprise that there were quite a few kids playing outside.  I have not seen the kids in Valentin's room but I am certain none of them were out there.  Only the kids who could walk, with two exceptions, our Valentin and one other little boy who appeared to have CP too.  I was so happy to have Valentin outside but I could not help but feel utter despair for the kids shut away inside.  It is a constant battle not to rush in there, swoop them all up and take them outside for some sunshine and some stimulation!  But instead they lay there listening to the lucky ones outside.  Very sad.  And not just them, but as we exchanged waves and "privet" with the children outside I wondered their fate too.  Would they ever have a family?  One little girl stuck out and she would not take her eyes off me.  Can I take her home too?  What is harder adopting or leaving the others behind?


But for one little boy freedom was to be had today.  Somewhat anyway.  He was mesmerized with the swing, as you will see in the video.  I asked if I could sit him on the swing and was told no.  I am starting to get really tired of people saying he cannot do something.  If there had not been so many nannies around and if it was not only our second day there I would have done it anyway, but like we do with Valentin we have to take baby steps with the staff too.  By the end of this though they WILL see just what our little man CAN do!  Can you say mama bear???


We only got an hour with him today because it was time for his bath or massage, it was hard to tell with the pantomime from the nanny.  We had heard that Valentin can throw a violent fit and we saw a bit of that today.  He DID NOT want to go back inside, and who could blame him?!?!  He cried and screamed a little but mostly he banged his head repeatedly against the stroller.  My heart broke.  What some simple communication tools could have been taught to him to help him express himself in ways other then banging.  Our drive rattled off something in Russian and the nanny came back out with him.  He bought our boy a few more moments in the sun, at least until we rounded the corner.


Until tomorrow Valentin...

Day 4 Part 2: We met a special someone today

My cup runneth over!!!!  We are madly in love with our boy and words just cannot describe.  I have been trying to figure out how to put into words the emotions we have about today.  Non can express it.

Our facilitator and driver took us to the regional sw office and we picked a gentleman who came with us to the orphanage.  I wish I could tell you who he was or why he was there but we were so focused we didn't pay much attention to it.  For some reason he had to witness our first meeting with Valentin and will also be at court.

The drive to the orphanage was very interesting, a lot of muddy narrow dirt roads, old houses and structures, lots of stray dogs, and then his orphanage tucked away in all that.  It was a smaller complex then I had imagined.  His orphanage is specifically for special needs kids and there were different "houses" for the different special needs and levels of need.  Valentin of course is in the house with the most severe special needs.  We did not get to see his room but we assume he is still in the "laying room".  The orphanage doctor came out with a huge file and started going over it with us.  Our poor little boy's body is just riddled with issues, honestly guys it's amazing he has made it this far.  According to what they told us he has far more than just Cerebral Palsy and the prognosis is bleak.  However, nothing is ever certain and God can do whatever He wants in Valentin's life.  We have been sitting here researching all the CT and ultrasound results and diagnoses as well as the medicines he is on and it's a bit scary.  We will explain more later, but we are just amazed at how God has protected him especially in the circumstances he is in.

Anyway, we were talking to the doctor when all of a sudden I looked over and here came our beautiful son.  We both cried instantly as Valentin smiled at us.  I was trying so hard to pay attention to what the doctor was saying but my heart was taken immediately.  It all happened so fast we really did not get pictures or video of meeting him.  When the doctor was finished we were told we had a few minutes with him because it was past lunch time.  Unfortunately we did not get to spend much time with him but we enjoyed every second we got.

Because of his prolonged institutionalization and being confined to the crib we did not want to overwhelm him and are taking baby steps with him so he can become comfortable with us.  We wanted him to make the first contact so Tyler reached out his hand and instantly Valentin smiled and place his hand in Tyler's. Yes, we cried!

I made the mistake of turning on the flash and it bothered him, he was not a fan of the camera after that.

Tyler showed him how to 'high-5' just one time and Valentin picked it right up.  Once I got the video camera out he was mesmerized with it as you will see.  Isn't he amazing?

And then it was my turn to play with him!!!  I wanted so badly to pick him up out of that stroller and hug him as tight as I could...but baby steps.  We want him to learn to trust us and I did not want to take it too far on the first day.  But man, was it hard not to!

He was so smiley, happy, and playful it was so exciting to see.  With all the things wrong in his little body and the environment he has to live in, it truly is amazing he smiles at all.  I felt his little arms and legs and they are so incurably stiff, his feet are pointed and when I tried to stretch them they would not budge at all.  My heart is broken but also rejoicing at the same time if that makes sense.

We will be able to see him again tomorrow from 9:30-11:30.  Every day after that we will only be able to visit from 4-6 in the afternoon.  They tell us we cannot visit in the morning because he receives therapeutic massages, please Lord let that be the truth!!!!

After we left the orphanage we went to the notary office and officially committed to adopt him!!!  Lord willing he will soon legally be our son.  However in our hearts he has always been!

Day 4 Part 1: Train and hotel

I loved taking the overnight train.  I have only been on one other very short train ride and have always loved trains.  I was so excited!!!  We did not get much sleep but we had fun.

We were picked up at the train station at 6:30am by our facilitator/lawyer and we love her already.  She brought us to our apartment and we LOVE it!  Sooooo much better then our first apartment!!!!

So now we are waiting for our facilitator to come pick us up and then it is a very busy day of a lot of paperwork.  But most importantly…

WE WILL FINALLY MEET OUR SWEET BOY!!!

I am anxious, nervous, and excited all at the same time.  We have been praying all night and morning that God would prepare his heart and mind to meet us, that there would be no fear and that he would know in his soul that we are there to love him.

I will have part 2 of the post after we meet him :)

Day 3: Referral appointment and change of plans

Day 3: Referral appointments, notary, received referral documents, train ride


It started out as a normal day...then there was a change of plans, a very good one!


Our driver picked us up and we headed to our referral appointment.  It was easy-breezy, we looked at Valentin's file and received 2 younger pictures of him.  We learned his given name, his birth place, his birth parents' names, and as far as we know he does not have any siblings (that his birth parents reported anyway).  The adoption officials asked us what we did and why we wanted to adopt a special needs child.  They looked at the photo book we made and that was it.  We figured that we would pick up our referral documents tomorrow and then sometime over the weekend we would be taking a train to Valentin's region and would meet him Monday.


Because of something else we are working on here, there is a national holiday coming up that would delay our adoption plans by 2 weeks.  It's all very confusing and I will write about it soon.  Our amazing team here in country worked very hard to work everything out so that we would not lose any time during the holiday.  I promise I will explain everything later, but all of this means that we will be boarding an overnight train tonight and......


WE WILL BE MEETING VALENTIN TOMORROW!!!!


I say it all the time but it never stops being true...God is so good!!!!


We wanted to take pictures at the appointment but things got so crazy and we spent most of the day running around that we took zero pictures today.  So worth it if we get to see our boy tomorrow!!!

Day 2: Meeting Bible Orphan Ministry

Day 2: Met and had lunch with the group from Bible Orphan Ministry, explored the city.


Just to let everyone know, we should (God willing) get to meet Valentin on Monday 4/23.  Right now we are in the capitol of his country.  Tomorrow is our referral appointment where they will show us Valentin's file and hopefully a baby picture.  Our official referral paperwork will not be ready until Friday afternoon and because of the weekend we will not get to meet him until Monday :(


We woke up to rain this morning, the most beautiful birds singing outside our window, and the realization that we are in Valentin's country!!!  We were so tired yesterday it really did not sink in until this morning.  Although he is still many miles (or should I say kilometers) away, there is something comforting about being nearer to him.


We have been very blessed with great internet service and have been able to Skype with the kids.  I think they are taking the distance much better then we are.  I am so glad they are having fun with Nana and Pa and I know they are very well cared for and very loved over there.  It is heartbreaking to be away from them but God has given us tremendous peace about it all.  He has set our feet firm in this mission and has equipped us beyond measure to complete His work here.  Plus, Tyler and I set our minds before we left that we were going to keep a good attitude about it all.  We miss our kids already but we are taking this opportunity to spend some quality time together and enjoy our time as a couple.  It has been lovely.


The group from Orphan Bible Ministry drove up to meet us for lunch.  We were so excited to meet them and hear more about them and there ministry.  It was delightful!  They suggested a great restaurant serving local food and I tried Borscht for the first time, very yummy.  

After some great food and great fellowship the group offered to show us around the city.

They took us to this bridge, who's name evades me right now.  Bridge of love?  Locks of love?  Love bridge?  Lock bridge?  I forget.  But the tradition is for couples to inscribe their names on a lock and once locked they 'throw away the key' literally throwing it over the bridge.  Cute really.

After meeting the team of Bible Orphan Ministry I am ever more convinced of the amazing work of God they are doing.  They talked so tenderly and lovingly about the orphans they go to visit.  While most shun special needs orphans into mental institutions, they are visiting them, providing them with shoes and necessities, they teach them about Jesus, and they give them love and affection that no one else is offering.  They are the only ones showing these children that they are loved.  And they should know, they too lived in orphanages.  They are using their sad experiences in the orphanages for good as they work to transform the lives of others in similar situations.  Over many years they have built great relationships with orphanage directors and so they do not share much about what goes on in the orphanages because they must keep those relationships in order to reach the children but just the little they shared is so very sad.  We spent the whole afternoon talking to them and are honored to now call them friends.


You are probably going to hear this a lot from us because we believe so strongly in what they are doing, but would you consider helping them?  They are a full time ministry and provide a lot of material items to the children and as you know it all cost money.  You can donate on their website two ways; through PayPal for just a general fund or using their chip-in for current projects found on their homepage (right now the current project is Gifts for Graduates).  At some point we want to do a donation drive to provide the materials and supplies they need too.  When we asked how we could help they simply asked for prayer.  We can all do at least that :)

Day 1: We are here!!!!

Day 1:  Arrived!  Niko picked us up at the airport, helped us exchange some money, bought minutes for our cell phone, picked up some groceries, settled into apartment.


We made it, safe and sound!  Thank you to all of you who prayed for safe travels!!!  I would love to write something thoughtful and meaningful but really we just want to settle in and go to bed.  So today you get our day in a quick synopsis and photos...

We are just not sure about the elevator, we decided to use the stairs :)